I came across her in a clearing she was standing there alone and I knew she was waiting for someone. I knew who it be she was waiting for too. She was waiting for me and I was waiting for her to notice I was there. I cleared my throat loudly and asked if she was alone. She answered not any more and gazed hard into my eyes. I couldn't have hurt her if I tried and I knew she knew that. I asked her to come with me for there was a better spot just up ahead. She nodded and said I'll follow you anywhere. We set off at a soft pace and looking far beyond I could see the clearing I had in mind. I asked her if she was afraid of me and she nodded to the scar on my arm. "What happened? " She asked. I told her about the battle I'd been in and relayed more than I had ever intended. she knew where I'd been and that was not comforting for I had killed many in battle. The scar left a remnant  deep in my soul of a scar that would never be gone. To kill another man was the true sign off a warrior and I knew I was a fierce a warrior as any. She knew it too and to talk about it brought turmoil and anguish deep down inside. "So it is for the glory you battle?" she asked. "No I fight only to survive" I answered. She cried in my arms as she told me about the friends she had lost in war and trying to comfort her I had to explain the true meaning of life. "How can you kill so many" she asked. "To war is not to discriminate as to who is to die but to kill indiscriminately kill thy true enemy." I answered. I can understand only love she replied but war is to err. in my mind. To war is to survival as air is to live I conveyed. In this world it is to kill or to be killed. This leaves me with great sorry she stated. I agreed and touched her heart with  my hand. I feel your pain but to live is to die. I know she said and we both cried. I will live again and the next life shall be less painful I pray said I. I also she stammered for both of us have known great displeasure in this life and I for one can stand it no longer. Nor I. I replied. So we shall go she questioned with her voice and her eyes. So we shall I replied. We hugged tightly but gently and I could feel the turmoil as  I grasped her throat and squeezed firmly. She slipped into  the unconscious and I  being able to stand it no more plunged the blade deep into my heart. To pass into the beyond is always painful but to continue a futile existence with much pain and remorse was even more unbearable.

Believe me it's me and before you go remember what I told you about moving to slow. You should have sped up you should have moved quick the faster you move the more life's a trip. The more life's a trip the more you move fast and after it all you can never go back. I loved life myself. I had to go through with my head in the clouds and myself on the move. I thought I would get there I just didn't dam know that the faster you went the faster it'd go. You should have slowed down you should have done more for you you should have taken back the things that you do and went forward more slowly on the longer dam ride and believed me I know it we both friggen tried to enjoy it but the harder we tried the faster it went and we both kinda lied if we thought we where getting to where we getting to. So if you ever did get there please let me know. If  I got there the answer is a big fucking no. I got basically to the place where everyone go. The end of the end the place they call death and I knew when I got there like everyone says you could have done if differently and if you fucking knew you probably would have done it differently too. Together we made it though through all the past together we made it let's neither look back. I wouldn't look back cause I know what I'll do have as many regrets as as many of you. If you say no regrets to this very day I would honestly say I'm completely dismayed. I have had so many regrets and as much as that is my life's going on and I'm only in my 30's still yet.

I have but the moment and time to move slow I felt from beyond the time the time that was gone. From beyond the time passed, the future was there and not going back from my never now fear, I looked to the future to make it all clear. It was the belief in oneself that fought only fear that brought me back to the realm and made every thing clear. The clearer it was the faster it grew and the life that I known and the people I knew move beyond distant they where now in the past and the whole world around me wouldn't' ever come back. I was gone to the after before the true end I had but one notion one message to send. I am here to tell you the secret of life don't ever look back and wonder the right or the wrong cause when you look back at your life it's to strong of a feeling of moral regrets and feelings of empty things that where there that just couldn't be and the thought that somewhere somebody would be judging all me. I came to the conclusion no matter the who  I just couldn't believe the things you could do and the things that you couldn't believe in your soul that people are real wherever you go.