Well, I can't do anything about being 42. Or about having Cinderella Solution Review to work to support myself (and my future child). And unless I plan on grabbing a man off the street and begging him to marry me, being single isn't going to change anytime soon. But, by golly, I can change my weight! Maybe not today, or tomorrow, but given time, I can do it!
The second event also centers around my strong desire to have children. About a month ago, I went with my two sisters and 3 nieces (ages 8, 12 and 13) to a local amusement park. After spending the day sitting on the sidelines watching the 5 of them enjoy the rides and repeatedly declining my 8-year old niece's request to ride with her, she finally asked me how come I never went on any rides. Because I will not lie to her, I carefully explained that it was because I was too big and would not fit. She just sadly said "oh, that's too bad". I could see the two older girls embarrassingly averting their eyes because, of course, they were old enough to have figured out the truth on their own.
I never want to have that conversation with my own child! I never want to have to explain that mommy can't do it "because she's too fat." And I certainly never want to see the embarrassed look of pity that flashes in their eyes when they figure out the truth for themselves. So I WILL lose the weight! I know it won't be easy. I know it will be a struggle everyday. But I will keep trying as if my child's life depended on it. Because in a way, it does. No child is going to die if I don't lose 150 pounds, but my hopes and dreams of being a mother may die. And my dreams of being the kind of mother I want to be will definitely die. I won't let that happen!
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