I came to a tower. The tower of terror. I said to "tower yo you don't terrify me at all. No man no." The tower said upon me "you must know that a tower that is terrifying is scary don't you?" I said "whats so terrifying about a tower?" and the tower said to me "I can scare the daylights out of you just let me try." So I said "go for it" and the tower he did cry. He said "I'm the terror tower so you better cry with me cause I'm not terrifying you just wait and see." I was terrified the tower was sad and upset so I started crying. Upon realizing I'd been tricked I laughed at the tower thinking this was quick. The tower said upon me "see my friend I won." "I said how so?" The tower said "cause you laughed instead of cried" and I sighed cause I knew I was tricked if I cried or I laughed at the tower the tower's little trick had worked and I knew the second the tower said it I was friggen fooled

While walking through the park whistling I came across a Jay. Well that's what it was a Jay. I thought does this Jay know how to fly? Being the nice guy that I am I picked it up and threw it into the air. The jay crashed down causing me much worry. What on earth do I do now? So I took the Jay home and have been feeding him birdseed and worms. I have tried to demonstrate flying to him many times by running around flapping my arms in his presence. I think he is starting to catch on. I can tell because his look of confusion and being dumbfound when I do this has changed to a look of understanding. Tomorrow to simulate the way a mother Jay teaches her birds to fly by pushing them out of the nest I am going to climb a tall tree and drop her. This may sound harsh to some but I am devastated over having to do this. I really hope the Jay flies. Although this is going to be hard on both of us I have been reading books on tough love and I really think this is the best way. If you have any advice on bringing up a baby bird or even a toddler who was a slow walker I could really use your advice. Thanks.

Well I ah thought about life and I had an idea I'lll quit my job and I'll start drinking beer. Don't remeber the rest but some how I ended up here. Ya I'm a hopeless fanatic and I'm fanatically drunk. Don't ask me to quit sorry I won't. If I can't do this gig drunk sorry I quit this must be a job for drunken dam man out there somewhere.