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Funny
Back in the day
Category: Funny

From back in the day to my greatest dismay many a people I haven't seen. I haven't seen Jimmy or Betty or Sue, Tommy, Richie or Eddie Fondue. I haven't seen so many people where did they go. Honestly baby when I'm in the know and see someone I knew I ask all kinds of questions about what happen to who. "Yo remeber that guy Eddie Fondue." "Oh I certainly do." what happened to him?" "Oh he married Kim but the two of them split" Thats when I have a fit." Eddie was cool what she do cheat on him?" "Oh I really don't know I haven't seen him in years my own self ya know so." "Man poor Eddie." "Ya Ya I know." "What about somebody so and so though?" Ya I remember so and so." "Ya what happend to him?" "Actually now he's married to Kim" and it goes on like this until I talked about everyone I once did know and to be honest with ya all its pretty dam slow.

About Me
Category: Funny

I rock but I don't throw stones. If you wanna be my friend you have to prove your usefulness or my usefulness to you. Contrary to what most people believe I believe we make friends out of necessity not by chance and convenience. If you don't agree don't bother trying to set me straight I am the most stubborn donkey you will ever meet. If your looking for a boyfriend I'm not your type. I'm the guy your mother warned you about. Not that I'm abusive in anyway but I'm definitely not the marrying kind. Those of you who wanna get to know me to see if you can be useful call me. Or have your people call my people. If you really wanna help I could use ya. I'm sorry if I offend anybody with this profile but hey I talk fact not fiction and fantasy. If you live in a fantasy world I know you won't agree. Anybody who agrees with me has got to be down to earth. So get your head out of the clouds and read this again from the beginning.

A Poor Jay
Category: Funny

While walking through the park whistling I came across a Jay. Well that's what it was a Jay. I thought does this Jay know how to fly? Being the nice guy that I am I picked it up and threw it into the air. The jay crashed down causing me much worry. What on earth do I do now? So I took the Jay home and have been feeding him birdseed and worms. I have tried to demonstrate flying to him many times by running around flapping my arms in his presence. I think he is starting to catch on. I can tell because his look of confusion and being dumbfound when I do this has changed to a look of understanding. Tomorrow to simulate the way a mother Jay teaches her birds to fly by pushing them out of the nest I am going to climb a tall tree and drop her. This may sound harsh to some but I am devastated over having to do this. I really hope the Jay flies. Although this is going to be hard on both of us I have been reading books on tough love and I really think this is the best way. If you have any advice on bringing up a baby bird or even a toddler who was a slow walker I could really use your advice. Thanks.

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